When people think of sports, attention often based on athletes’ physical abilities, mental toughness, and team achievements (Sarkar & Fletcher, 2014). A much less visible but equally important aspect of the sports experience is the existence of grief after death in the context of sports. Despite its inevitability, grief in sport is under-discussed and often marginalized, leaving athletes, teams and support staff to navigate the loss without adequate recognition or structural support (Pack, 2022).
To emphasize this important topic, thanatologist Emilio Parga, founder and executive director Tree of peacecreated Informed Bereavement, Trauma and Bereavement Special Interest Group (SIG) within the Association for Applied Sport Psychology (AASP) to help sport professionals prepare their organizations for the consequences of death. Parga and I recently discussed the areas of grief exploration and how we can support athletes after a loss.
How the concept of strength affects grief
Research on athlete culture constantly shows that strict norms and emotional control shape how athletes interpret and respond to stress (Rardon et al., 2019; Rice et al., 2016). A person experiencing grief may feel that their energy is gone, but Parga explains it differently:
“Sports tells a powerful story of strength. Push through the pain; be tough, control your emotions, and do whatever it takes. For athletes, these messages are about both. motivation and personality. Athletes see strength as discipline, composure, and endurance under pressure. These beliefs create the supernatural stabilitybut grief has a way of exposing the limits of even the strongest performance mindset. “Grief does not follow the rules of sports, and magical grief does not end.”
When a teammate dies, the world doesn’t just “reset” after the tribute is over. Many athletes describe returning to environments that seem unchanged. Daily routines and expectations remain the same, but an integral part of the team—the deceased person—is not. Strength can include expressing emotions related to grief.
What is grief in the sports environment?
Within sports settings, research highlights that loss experiences, including the death of a teammate, can disrupt personality, psychological safety, and work adjustment (Atkins & Laurel, 2024; O’Brien et al., 2025). As Parga pointed out, grief makes itself known in a significant way. It often moves quietly through the body and mind and may appear as:
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Fatigue that feels unfamiliar
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Difficulty concentrating
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nervousness for no apparent reason
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Mood swings that seem out of proportion
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Numb moments
Grief is not the same for everyone
Helping athletes understand that everyone experiences grief differently creates a space to honestly reflect on their own unique and individual grief expressions. Parga emphasized this point:
“Grief rarely looks the same from person to person. One athlete may immerse himself in training and another may struggle with attention. One may express. feelings openly, the other can refuse.”
Research consistently shows wide variation in grief responses (Atkins & Lorelle, 2024), but athletes often and relentlessly compare themselves to others. They may think, “Why don’t I handle this better?” or “Everyone else seems fine, why do I feel bad?”
Research about mental health stigma helps explain this internal dialogue among athletes. Athletes are often hesitant to disclose anxiety because of it fear judgment, concerns about the appearance of poor or perceived consequences of performance (Küttel et al., 2020; Rice et al., 2016). Silence about grief risks emphasizing a culture of ignoring difficult emotions to manage instead of creating a space for them to heal.
Deaths by suicide
Suicide remains the second leading cause of death in athletes (goals are the leading cause of non-medical death) (Whelan, 2024). When the death involves suicide, the silence often deepens. Suicide carries layers of stigma, discomfort, and uncertainty. Athletes may struggle with questions, while coaches may worry about saying the wrong thing.
Naming reality gently and honestly can help stabilize the environment. Research shows that being proactive about personalizing the nature of the loss (specific and individual pictures) strengthens the sense of community, while avoiding discussions can make people feel isolated (Marek and Oeksle, 2024). Similarly, research on suicide mourning shows that open and empathetic dialogue reduces isolation and supports healthy adaptation (Andriessen et al., 2017; Marek & Oexle, 2024).
What can we say to people who are sad?
Grief does not need perfect words. Often, what is missing within grief teams is permission to express feelings and share ideas. Athletes wait for recognition, coaches wait for signs, and silence fills the space between them. “What people often need is very simple,” Parga said. She said simple phrases like these often help:
“It’s difficult.”
“It’s important.”
“You are not alone.”
One athlete described the relief of hearing such simple words: “We didn’t need a speech. We just needed someone to say, ‘Of course it’s hard.'”
What can we do to help?
Grief expands the definition of strength. Strength remains even when the emotion is uncomfortable, allowing healing and safe responses without judgment. Connecting with others in therapy can allow people to feel better without pretending that nothing has changed. In sports, strength is often associated with endurance. In grief, strength becomes honesty, and perhaps the most important truth for athletes to remember: Feeling emotions is not a performance flaw.
Athletes, staff, coaches, and others in the sports environment may consider:
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Emphasize emotional sharing as a strength. Athletes are used to celebrating with their teammates, and they may be less used to sharing difficult emotions. Role modeling by sharing feelings about grief, loss, and death can help others open up and begin their own healing process.
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Because everyone feels grief differently, it can be a service to educate people about the different ways of experiencing, expressing and managing individual grief symptoms.
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The appeal to suicide directly breaks the silent avoidance of the difficult subject. It’s about suicide thoughts, actions, and consequences can help people begin to process their feelings about losing someone through suicide and even help them express their thoughts about suicide or death in general.
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It may be difficult for sad people to find something, and a simple “You’re not alone” or “I’m here for you” can be very meaningful.
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Regular registration can help people who are grieving realize that others experience loss too, and that there is ongoing support for the ups and downs that people go through after a death.
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Call for a consultant to help those who have experienced loss can lay the groundwork for ongoing communication about grief, loss, and healing
Grief has no expiration date
People often ask when they feel better. Grief doesn’t have an end date, but people can learn to deal with it in ways that feel more manageable over time. In sports and in life, strength does not overcome or forget sorrow; strength is learning how to move forward and continue to honor what is important. Grief won’t go away, but it can be something you live with rather than something that holds you back. Over time, it exists along with purpose, connections, and parts of life that move forward.
If you or someone you love is having suicidal thoughts, get help right away. For 24/7 help, call 988 for the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741. To find a therapist near you, from Today’s psychology therapy list.
