The end of the semester is approaching, which means we’ll be getting a few emails that pull out all the stops. Drama! Intrigue! Crisis! As professors, few things in life are guaranteed, but a last-minute email attempt to raise a grade is one of them.
Opening with a heart-wrenching message from a student we know has struggled through all of the semester’s challenges in our hearts. Our empathy is triggered and it makes us want to fix it for them.
But we are not. Why? No, it’s not because we’re heartless monsters. Because we know it sympathy it is twisted.
Two types of empathy
All humans experience two types of empathy: affective and cognitive. Affective empathy fires our motor neurons and mimics the feelings of the distressed person. If we rely on emotional empathy with every email, we run into several problems.
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Biological self sabotage: Affective empathy makes us feel the student’s pain as our own. Our brains don’t distinguish between “their” pain and “our pain,” so it can feel dry, heavy, and overwhelming. blame. It is also free stress hormone cortisol, which can lead to sympathy trouble The state in which you nervous system tired of seeing every email as your personal crisis.
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Burning: Without guards, an inbox full of anxiety can lead to burnout. As a result, we may shut down our affective empathy just to protect ourselves. But then our empathy is AWOL when it’s really needed, like when a loved one is really struggling. You don’t have to be a professor to experience empathic burnout; just reading the news (or your social feeds) can be enough to trigger your affective wiring.
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Negative reinforcement: The problem that affective empathy causes can push us into a fix mode to overcome it. While a quick fix (like a grade adjustment) can make us feel better, it can set off a vicious cycle where our brains learn to violate our standards as a means of coping with discomfort. Sometimes, the right thing is uncomfortable.
Interestingly, research has found that this type of empathy a a biological reflex based on tribal survival. Affective empathy has the potential to bias causes us to develop prejudices against those we consider similar to ourselves (for example, members of the tribe) and against people outside the tribe; otherwise known The minimal group paradigm. Even something as small as a student mentioning that they also like your favorite hobby (boomerangs/embroidery) can be enough to trigger an empathic bias.
Affective empathy can also convince us that changing grades is the “right” thing to do because empathy gives us tunnel vision. As one of the famous test emphasized, this tunnel vision showed how sympathy for a particular person can lead people to violate their principles of justice and fairness. For us, it could mean indifference to the rest of the class, each of whom had their own trials and tribulations during the semester.
This is where the second form of empathy helps. Cognitive Empathy is about perspective. It allows you to gain an intellectual understanding of the situation, but prevents you from getting too emotional and losing sight of the bigger picture. When you use cognitive empathy, you gather information and create a mental map of the situation.
From sympathywhich leads us to feel sorry for the other person, cognitive empathy treats the situation as if you were a neutral observer. With this perspective, you can gather information and choose not to prioritize others to the detriment of others.
Shift
We recognize that moving from affective to cognitive empathy is difficult. In fact, it won’t work if you don’t recognize when your emotions are driving your choices. Wondering how you can tell? Here’s a hint: your emotions always advance your choice. But that doesn’t mean you’re powerless. Start here:
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Determine the facts of the situation. Step away from the emotions and figure out what’s really going on. Will a student really lose their scholarship, job, future home, and ability to love if you don’t raise their grades? Probably not. With some perspective, the choice becomes a little easier.
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Get busy equality. It is a state of calmness and mental stability in which you are aware of the other person’s distress but do not remain reactive. When you’re at peace, you can read an email and stay calm because you’re not overwhelmed by emotion. Instead, you act with wisdom and persistence.
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Consider all. When you feel strong feelings of compassion for one person, stop and ask, “If I do this, how will it affect everyone in the class, group, group, etc.?” This helps to move from unselfish kindness to a systematic approach.
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Use intelligent empathy. Don’t use a sad story as an excuse to change the grade, because it’s really a device. Instead, think about how you can support the student and make it a teaching moment. It is more effective because it promotes lasting change. Do not deprive anyone of the opportunity to build stability.
We know we are not the only people dealing with these situations. So the next time you’re faced with the latest email version, remember that your greatest asset is seeing them through their pain. Remember that what you feel is a biological desire that does not require action. Instead, take a moment. Acknowledge their situation with cognitive empathy, follow your instructions calmly, and act with rational empathy.
This transition will save your nervous system, maintain your standards, and hopefully help us get through it with our sanity.
