Martin Luther King Jr., in strength to love wrote:to forgive not an accidental act; this is a permanent relationship.” We can be sure that we have a reliable and unconditional sincerity, which is called a “forgiving nature.” The word is “forgiveness”. In forgiveness, we abandon the dualism of the offender and the forgiver. We are to forgive We treat forgiveness. A pardon removes the consequences; sorry clears accounts. Forgiveness keeps no record of mistakes.
Forgiveness is a separate act. Forgiveness is a constant attitude. The same distinction applies to acts or attitudes of giving love. For the virtue of loving kindness toward others to be real, it cannot be based on whether or not we see love in another. We love because we love, not because someone is attractive. We know our love for others is real when the moments we love them no longer matter or override our caring connection, which is what love is all about.
Forgiveness is a virtue, that is, a good habit. So, a spirituality obligation Forgiveness, like any virtue, originates from our actions and behavior, the transformation of life. It becomes our loving response to offense. Resentment is no longer about us holding something against others, another form of revenge. So, to love does not mean to forgive because we do not hold anything against others. It raises the bar on what love really means.
In the religious context, the English mystic Juliana of Norwich Shows wrote: “God never needs to forgive because … God is never offended.” We can apply this to our relationships. To offend, according to the dictionary, to misbehave so as to cause discomfort or injury, to cause displeasure or displeasure anger. Similarly, in the dictionary, anger means to be dissatisfied with injustice, to be upset because we believe that we have been treated unfairly.
Situations of forgiveness, release of resentment, blame /to embarrassanger and determination. When we love someone, none of these four things happen in us. Resentment is met with dialogue and reconciliation. This means that there is no forgiveness involved.
It is a gift of life that people, even those who love us, can sometimes offend us, hurt our feelings, betray us, fail us, mistreat us, take advantage of us, or do us some harm. (Evidence of something does not excuse it, of course; it only makes it understandable.)
When we love others unconditionally, each of these shocks leads to us first and foremost. sadnessso we say “Ouch!” and trying to open a dialogue. But we do not hold it against them even if they refuse to reconcile. We let go with love and open the door to reconciliation if offered.
When we “don’t love our enemies,” we may engage in guilt, malice, resentment, resentment, regret or apology, or revenge. Thus, we hold it against them.
When we love others completely, nothing they do can require forgiveness because offense does not lead to it. holds it against them.
Let’s look at a familiar phrase:
“Love means never having regrets.”
It doesn’t seem right, because it’s a fact of life that we can sometimes be offended, so it’s a loving thing to say that we’re sorry when we’ve been mean or insulting in some way. This leads to trust in both directions, from us to the other and from the other to us.
“Love means never having regrets.” This is true when we live with someone who loves us unconditionally and we know that we are not always safe in the house of any evil record. It is the house of love, trust and forgiveness.
David Richeau, adapted from: Sweeter than Revenge (Shambala, 2025)
