Some principles of psychology are not new ideas at all. Eastern philosophers sometimes expressed such concepts centuries ago. But without science to gather information about the idea or its implications, the old proverb may be limited in its description of the human condition.
A Taoist parable that I see more and more is the “empty boat theory”. In reels, shorts, and short exposures, many content creators or self help influencers have used the power of parables in an attempt to help individuals find peace and even to heal road rage (Siddharth M, 2026).
Among the different narratives, you are on a boat in a foggy river when the boat collides with your boat. You get angry, but then you realize that the other ship is empty – no one is driving it – and the anger disappears. The boat must have left its port.
The general idea is that we cannot get angry because there is no one to get angry. As by New York Times bestselling author Sahil Bloom, “After all, you can’t be angry on an empty ship” (Bloom, 2026). Anger comes from and should be directed at the person who has negative intentions.
Yes, yes and no.
Why does this parable make sense?
Anger often involves feelings against the person. Anger expert James Averill wrote that “more than anything else, anger is the culprit” (Averill, 1983). So we can feel less outrage when some TikTokers claim anxiety in interpersonal conflicts by seeing others as people who are just navigating their own life problems, like “empty boats” (Shannon, 2026) – this makes sense.
I don’t want to disturb anyone’s peace with this thought, but several issues complicate the parable and what lessons do we learn from it. A more complete analysis may bring more comfort to more readers.
Causes of anger
Other factors can trigger anger besides the perceived aggressor. Perceiving a negative intention can still lead to anger, but assuming that anger is caused by such a perception can fall under the “dialogue fallacy” (Taylor, 2019).
These other irritants include crowds, congestion, blocked targets, bad weather, pain, heat, hunger, stressand sound (Stalder, 2018). Gastroenterologist Christine Lee explained being “hungry” by saying that “there’s a physiological reason why some people get angry when they’re hungry” (Cleveland Clinic, 2021). Aggression expert Craig Anderson has shown that warmth can lead to hostility and anger “in contexts without potentially hostile targets” (Anderson et al., 1995).
Let’s face it, we’re pretty good at getting angry at all kinds of non-human things, like a computer that deletes our files, a stove that we stub our toe on, or a swarm of mosquitoes that bite mercilessly. And we can wholeheartedly defend that feelings while admitting that there is no willful person behind these events. So, having a boat fall off our feet while cruising can cause anger, without assuming that someone maliciously or incompetently drove the boat into our boat.
However, the application of the proverb may accidentally show that such anger is unfounded. Some victims, at least, can hear that message. In response to an “empty ship” post Facebookone commenter wrote, “Now you’re trying gas light people and tell them that their feelings of anger are not valid? Way to go” (Clair, 2026).
Anger can lead to a search for intent
Perceptions of intent can lead to anger, but anger can also lead to further perceptions of intent. Anger can lead not only to looking for who is to blame, but also to thinking that someone is is to blame In cognitive dissonance theory, it is about “matching how you see the world to what you feel” (Myers, 2013). In Jonathan Haidt’s socio-intuitionist model, after expressing strong emotions, “one becomes a lawyer who tries to build a case, not a judge who seeks the truth” (Haidt, 2001).
This process is the opposite of the disappearing-anger part of the proverb. When there is anger, there is motivation to justify it and find a responsible person despite the empty boat. A lawyer is working on the case. And who knows, it could still be the culprit who didn’t secure the boat at the dock or overlooked the rusted fenders that needed to be replaced. As one commenter wrote, “Your empty boat hit a boat and now my insurance company is asking questions” (Rawlings, 2026).
Telling the victim that they should not be angry may even make the victim angrier or at least depressed. Another commenter said that the proverb tells him, “Maybe I’m the problem,” “Nobody cares about me,” and “The man who insult me and hurting me is not real” (Smith, 2026).
The boat is rarely “empty”.
Taking a step back, a principle of social psychology is that most behaviors result from a combination of personal and situational factors (Stalder, 2018). It is rarely all one or the other. And so it is very rare that the boat is truly “empty”.
It is true that most of us overestimate the character and personal motives behind bad behavior—this overestimation is part of a fundamental attribution error (FAE), which contains a powerful proverbial spirit. But think that there are no personal factors, there is a risk of reverse FAE. And philosophically, do we want to remove all agency from our fellow human beings throughout life (when they harm us)?
In soum
Some self-help influencers exaggerate the idea that our anger can be motivated by false intentions when we are hurt. This approach threatens a form of victim blaming.
But some who rely on this parable recognize the nuances that the boat is rarely empty, that we must hold others accountable for behavior that harms us, and that only considering the possibility of unforeseen circumstances can reduce anger and anxiety. The parable may get some things wrong or incomplete, but the overall lesson, if done with care, is extremely valuable.
