“Contemplation requires deep participation in the human condition, not absolute detachment” Thomas Merton
Participle is the present participle of a noun; it avoids static descriptions and prioritizes context over content. It is a way of sharing or actively participating in a relationship with an event or with others. Carl Rogers believed that it was a means to be part of a deep ecological relationship, side by side, participating and being in the “process observer” of the whole story and living being, not under its control.
Loss of trust in society
Unfortunately, according to the Pew Research Center’s May 8, 2025 “Americans Trust Each Other” report, only about a third of Americans believe that most people can be trusted, a sharp decline from nearly half of the population in the 1970s.
This is directly related to the deterioration of our mental, emotional and physical health. Unresolved separation and conflict cause health problems in us nervous system they make an agreement and force us vagus nerve narrowing, seeking security and needed compassion. It is related to the effect on our levels of cortisol, a steroid hormone produced by the adrenal glands, which regulates our metabolism, immune function and stress answer As a result, we fall victim to an ongoing and regenerative fight-or-flight sympathetic response that wreaks havoc on our nervous system.
How do we build trusting relationships? Martin Buber referred to it as an “I-and-Thou” experience, in which true participation occurs when we encounter the world with our whole being, rather than viewing it as an “I-it” object to be used or analyzed. It’s a quest to appreciate being alive, which, according to Alan Lightman, “is the most extraordinary stroke of luck we’ll ever experience. Yet it’s the easiest to ignore and accept.”
Polarization and the need for dialogue
Today’s pervasive polarization has caused severe, well-documented destruction and interpersonal trauma. One in five Americans have cut off a relationship with a friend or family member because of political disagreements, according to Americans Psychiatric Association voting report on October 3, 2024.
Two-thirds of us now actively avoid talking to many colleagues, friends or family, as revealed by the US-based Quantum Connections Dialogue Report, published on May 11, 2026. So what is the solution to correcting and renewing our innate need to engage with one another in diverse, even personal, contexts?
Social participation is an acceptable answer. It plays a positive role in protecting our inner capacity, the full range of physical and mental abilities a person can use at any given moment. Social interaction cooperation and Inner Capacity is diminished when we avoid the essence of good communication: the win-win dialogue that exists in the liminal space “between” us. Participating in this way can literally save our lives. Ursula K. Le Guin supports this, believing that “You can’t try to live safely; there is no such thing as safety. So stick your neck out of your skin and live life to the fullest.”
We should pay attention to what Carl Rogers advocated: “The good life … is the process of moving in a direction in which the human organism is free to move in any direction, and the general qualities of this chosen direction have a certain universality.”
The personal nature of joy and panic lies in the everyday practice of engaging and sharing everyday realities and interrelated stories through narrative and poetic dialogue. This is the essence of discovering what is hidden within us, but rarely heard. Our hope is to make it happen dreamsbut also a recognition of a world that will remain “wilder than our imaginations,” as Rebecca Solnit rightly suggests.
Nature as a prerequisite for meaningful participation
To pay attention nature is a prerequisite for participating, paying attention and noticing meaning, giving a new appreciation of our world. Maria Popovo poetically prompts us to consider and discuss such things as “Acorns, the geometry of a bee, the complexity of a whale’s song, the sheer slowness of a heron.” Gregory Bateson emphasizes this when he describes how “Meaning and intelligence do not reside in isolated individuals. Instead, they emerge through active participation and relationships within a larger system of life.”
Participation is the basis of all relationships and combinations. Opportunities to participate at deeper levels that transcend polarization exist in all aspects of our lives. CNN’s Michael Smerconish hosts community “Mingle Meet Ups” in dozens of cities, encouraging listeners and citizens to participate, connect through shared experiences, and bridge political or generational divides. Nora Bateson, President of the International Bateson Institute, encourages us to be a part of the hot data where the integration of interpersonal dialogue in all our interactional contexts leads to new and emerging opportunities.
Important relationships to read
Robert Thurman believed there was spirituality an energy generated by participation in life, because “the suffering of the world demands joyful participation, not an escape from isolation.” It allows you to rise above the fragments of reality, walk alongside and attend to the needs of others, be compassionately present and leave no one behind. This is what Margaret Mead emphasized about the need to be “fully immersed in the everyday life of our communities”.
The power of everyday community connections
It can be found in everyday communities, such as the Happy Chat Project in Montclair, New Jersey, where two people who live in the same town, who have never met, suddenly sit down for an afternoon in Montclair to talk and connect. It is clear from studies and common sense that these small interactions with others create daily challenges, needs, and achievements that are more important than many people realize. They can increase or decrease the sense of belonging solitudefostering compassion and improving the well-being of communities. My friend Victoria Fann poignantly reminds us that, “None of us have all the answers, so just hearing someone else’s perspective, or an inner shift in our own perspective based on hearing someone tell us, can be life-changing.”
Tips for sharing interactions and stories
How different would your life be and what narratives would you like to hear and share if you had the opportunity to connect with those you don’t know or know only superficially within your community, such as stories of everyday life, survival, parentscommuting, creating, cooking, etc.?
In what ways are you interested in learning and sharing with others and/or are you curious about how to manage the various institutions and contexts that are part and parcel of your life, such as family, school, shopping, media, finance, religion, work, economics, politicsenvironment, wellness, sports, etc.?
Tell a story about how you relate to others, especially those you know or want to know in your community.
