Anxiety is part of the human journey, although sometimes the term “anxiety” can be watered down. People have concerns such as financial security, job stability, personal relationships, parental responsibilities, and health and safety concerns that occupy their minds on a daily basis. But not all worries can be classified as anxiety.
Anxiety disorders include conditions characterized by fear and anxiety that interfere with people’s general well-being. In children, this anxiety can affect their attendance at school, as well as affect the quality of their sleep at night or their concentration in class. In adults, it can affect areas such as work performance, romantic relationships, social relationships, financial issues, and physical health. Anxiety manifests itself in physical, emotional, and behavioral ways—with several conditions falling under the category of “anxiety disorders.”
A common question parents ask is whether their own anxiety can cause their children’s anxiety. Research shows a component of anxiety. Genetic studies have found heritability rates for anxiety disorders to range from 30% to 67%. If a child has a relative who has been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, the child is more likely to experience anxiety throughout his or her life.
Another important question is whether anxiety is contagious. It is enough that it is determined not only by genetics.
The relationship between parents and their children can affect each other’s anxiety levels when they live together. A study published in the American Journal of Psychiatry studied 900 twin families as parents to find out how environmental factors contribute to anxiety. The findings strongly support the idea that anxiety is transmitted from parent to child through the environment independent of factors. Moreover, research shows that anxiety traits can be learned and that children’s anxiety can amplify parents’ feelings of anxiety. But there is a flip side to this; parents have the opportunity to actively reduce their children’s anxiety by modulating their own reactions and demonstrating robust coping strategies.
Disturbing talk
Children have the ability to listen in difficult moments. You can repeat the instructions many times and get no response, but it’s interesting how they can fit in just when you least expect it, especially in adult-only conversations.
It’s important to have an audience when discussing troubling thoughts, but we need to remember that children often fill in the gaps when receiving pieces of troubling news. While it’s good for adults to be open about fears like school shootings, we need to be careful about such topics around children because it can increase their anxiety.
Children tend to absorb their parents’ concerns. Maybe internalize these horror stories.
Examples of prevention
When we are faced with fear, our natural instincts are often to avoid them. We usually justify this avoidance by referring to the root cause of our fear. For example, if you had a childhood experience of being bitten by a dog, it’s understandable that you view dogs as unpredictable. Such trauma-based reactions are very common. However, a downside is that children can adopt these patterns and believe that all dogs are a threat and should be avoided.
Dealing with phobias requires patience and effort. To prevent these fears from spreading to your children, it is important to work with your partner or another trusted adult. This way you can make sure your kids have experience when they encounter your triggers. For example, if you are afraid of dogs, your partner can introduce your children to animals at the adoption event and help them overcome any concerns about the unpredictability.
Protective behaviors
Some parenting practices that promote anxiety include actions that protect children from potential dangers. For example, constantly telling children to stop playing or putting a high limit on how much they can play is an example of overprotection. The underlying message is clear: Gaming is dangerous and can cause injury.
Children benefit from experiencing calculated risks so they can assess their limits and make good decisions. Their overprotection against perceived threats can inadvertently develop a risk-averse mindset.
By taking the following steps, parents can reduce the transmission of anxious behavior to the environment:
How to avoid anxiety
It can be helpful to write down things that worry you. This way you can better understand what is causing your anxiety and where you need help. Anxiety can stem from fear, as well as certain places or situations with a high level of stress or interactions with people.
Whenever you feel anxious, take a moment to write down the events that happened when it happened and any thoughts or actions that preceded your anxiety symptoms. By identifying patterns in these situations, you can identify your trigger points more effectively.
Encourage positive challenges
When we encourage children to push themselves and self-assess their strengths and weaknesses, they discover ways to get ahead in life. If you’re worried about watching your child climb the rock wall, consider inviting them to the playground and taking a walk while they’re anxious. If mingling at gatherings is difficult, but you want your children to adjust to group settings, consider allowing them to attend alone or with a partner or other caregiver.
Motivating children is important for them to solve problems. Although you may not be able to join them on exciting adventures, it is important to give them the opportunity to experience these adventures.
Learn about healthy coping skills
We all experience moments of anxiety. Growing up can be hard sometimes. It’s not always easy. When parents show us effective ways to manage and cope with stress, we learn that we have the ability to control our triggers. Here are some techniques that can help:
- Practice breathing exercises; Inhale for four counts, hold for four counts, and exhale for four counts.
- Try using the same program to relax and unwind.
- Learn progressive muscle relaxation techniques to release tension in your muscles.
- Take a walk together as a family.
- Consider keeping a journal to express your thoughts and feelings.
- Create a container where the family can share their concerns.
Anxiety can affect aspects of our lives such as academics, work, health, and relationships with others. By recognizing our motivations and finding strategies to deal with them, we not only get rid of anxious thoughts, but also empower children so that they can successfully deal with the challenges that come with personal development.
