In defining emotional recovery, I emphasize three components: self-confidence, believing in yourself, and wanting to be you. Of course, these three components can be broken down into many other components. In the final phase of emotional recovery, which is the desire to be you again, I think you must first establish pride in who you are, before, during, and after your acute illness. I know that for me pride was the last feelings I could understand recovering from my mental breaks, but it was pride that was essential to the development of my current state of well-being and the progress I’ve made over the years.
I lost my sense of pride when I lost my mind and became cognitively impaired after becoming an academic, a path that came to a halt. My sense of pride was lost after passing through the psych ward and losing my sense of independence. I lost my pride when I was embarrassed and ashamed of my behavior during recess in front of my family and friends. I felt terrible that communicating my hallucinations would scare others. I was so ashamed that for years other people knew there was something wrong with me, but I always didn’t realize it, and when I was aware, there was nothing I could do.
Proud to be alive
I think you are alive after your break in medicine. Because you’re often living in an alternate reality during downtime, you can make choices that cost your life. I have done several things because of my breaks that could have cost me my life. The worst part is that no one can argue with you and you can’t even think for yourself. You can’t second guess yourself and everything is as I type right now.
And you’re not just lucky to be alive—you probably made some important decisions that kept you alive today. Maybe you agreed to the hospital, maybe you agreed to the medicine, or maybe you didn’t agree to anything. But it doesn’t really matter that you are alive and breathing now. You have a future, whether you believe it or not.
It took a while for me to want to live again, so at first I wasn’t proud to be alive. For me, I realized that being alive is a blessing and an achievement, not something to take for granted. I emphasize this because I hope it takes less time for you to feel this way than it did for me.
Be proud of who you are as an individual
I was completely humiliated and ashamed to be me. I seriously considered moving to a new city and starting over where no one I met would know I was mentally ill. The worst part was not knowing who had what, or knowing that there were people who silently knew I was sick before my breaks, even when I didn’t know. I’m glad I didn’t move. Making the decision to stay meant that I faced my innermost fears and insecurities instead of running away from them. Geography rarely frees you from inner problems.
The biggest struggle to overcome is caring more about how you feel about yourself than what other people think about you. That’s all stigma it is harmful in this disease because it tells you to put yourself last and put what anyone in the world might think is most important about you. We see others as a mirror of how we see ourselves. Their validation means we can validate ourselves, but it’s a dangerous and dangerous way to find out personality and self-regulation. I did it myself, but in doing so, I gave others the power over my life and emotions.
You can’t expect anyone to be proud of you, especially when you’re older. Even when I was saddened and embarrassed by my schizophrenia diagnosis, my life was my own and my parents weren’t as shaken as I was – they still accepted me without judgement. Although it was very important to me, at some point, I had to accept this position myself and not depend on others to provide it.
You can still live a life you’re proud of
No matter how dark and meaningless your life seems, you must remember that it is your view of reality – it is not necessarily reality itself. As a teenager, I was a very negative thinker as part of myself depressionand I saw my perception as the only way to look at things. However, it was great when I realized that my interpretations were just one point of view and that others’ interpretations could be just as valid or even more accurate.
I saw my life as doomed and irredeemable. I didn’t even think that a sovereign God could fix my life. Every morning I opened my eyes, but it was not enough motivation to get out of bed or to have any forward direction, either in a momentary or long-term sense. However, I am like that thank you that, even though I was in so much pain inside and didn’t know what the meaning of my life was, I continued to wake up every morning and finally got out of bed. Sometimes in early recovery there was little daily structure, but maybe I would do the dishes for my mom, maybe I would walk my dog, maybe I would try to focus and read something, or maybe I would show up for company. In other words, I could do small daily actions that would give me a sense of accomplishment and pride.
That’s what 14 years of release turned out to be for me
In the 14 years since my last break, I’ve found meaning in those times by helping others, and I’ve never been more proud of myself in the sense that I want to be me. I now accept who I am and I am proud that I fully own my recovery. I’m proud that I didn’t quit and keep going psychiatry appointment and therapy appointment Even when I wasn’t sure they would change, I did it on the principle of self-love and trying. Over time, all the appointments I kept made a big difference. In the end, caring more about myself than what the world thought of my illness, I pulled myself out of the quagmire and rebuilt my identity based on what I feel is a completely authentic existence.
I am a survivor and so are you. The goals are positive your talkfeeling proud of owning your recovery, being yourself and no one else, and actually changing your future in a way that makes you better than you were before.
