Confirmations can be one of the most effective psychological tools that people avoid using. As a psychologist, I have been trained in many different ways therapy. Although I am qualified as one psychologistI regularly receive CBT (cognitive behavior therapy), DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) and existential therapy. Like many clinicians today, I describe my approach as eclectic: I use whatever method is most useful for a given client. Ironically, one of the simplest strategies I recommend is often immediately rejected.
Customers often dismiss them as “hokey”, “cringe” or silly parodies. self help culture
People love quick fixes and simple solutions, especially in our current climate of instant gratification. Artificial intelligence can write us an email in seconds and we get really impatient when it takes longer than that. Packages can arrive in hours, and it feels old when we have to wait more than a few days for a new skin care product or gadget.
Perhaps this is why the position of power was so attractive to us. The idea that striking a relaxing pose for two minutes can boost our well-being and self-esteem sounded very interesting. Unfortunately, the concept was rejected due to the (partial) lack of replication of the findings, although it should be noted that the experience of emotional strength was has been repeated.
Stuart Smalley’s influence
Another simple strategy, affirmations, has been shown to be very useful in psychological research. So why don’t we all do them?
I call it the Stewart Smalley effect.
For those who don’t remember (or are too young), Al Franken played a legendary self-help guru who recommended affirmations for every problem. “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and that’s why people like me.” The affirmations became a scribble and a joke.
Research
I feel like Stuart Smalley when I tell clients to look in the mirror and say, “I love you,” or some other empathetic statement out loud. I can hardly keep a straight face when I say this, even though researcher Nicola Petrocchi and colleagues (2017) show its effectiveness in increasing positive emotions.
Recently meta-analysis 89 of the studies also point to the empirically proven benefits of affirmations. Zhang and colleagues from the University of Hong Kong found that self-esteem has a positive effect on general well-being, social well-being, and self-esteem. Again, ineffective and underutilized in my experience.
Self care
In the end, I worry that we just don’t love ourselves enough, so selfishness is embarrassing. narcissistand amazing. The term “self-care” gets thrown around a lot these days. In fact, I use it when I teach myself Wellness psychiatry residencies at Georgetown University School of Medicine. Self-care has come to mean going to the spa or taking time off work for a mental health day. However, true and meaningful self-care is truly self-love.
And affirmations can bring you closer to that experience.
What I recommend should be the easiest thing in the world:
- Create a confirmation that meets you. It should feel real, important, and true.
- Repeat this affirmation at least three times a day.
- Do it every day for at least a month.
The good news is that if you accept it, the process will be less irritating. You might even look forward to doing it, although a lack of self-esteem is a good place to start. Most of us tend to be hard on ourselves. We think that beating yourself up internally is the best way to motivate yourself. (Spoiler alert: It’s not.)
Important confirmation readings
Instead, self-awareness, appearance, to ignore fearand acceptance of a growth mindset are better ways to motivate ourselves. And remember that you are good enough, you are smart enough, and there are people like you.
