Many Americans have learned that when they see one of America’s finest in uniform or wearing a hat, they can or should say “thank you for your service.” This gesture is small but great when it comes to someone who wants to give his all for his country.
Many veterans feel grateful for the gesture, but Jerick Frye has a different take on it.
“These words are dirty to me.”
To be clear, Sergeant Fry has no regrets about his nine-year career as a United States Marine. He was proud of his service from the time he entered high school until his last days, when he escorted fallen servicemen to their parents. recovering from knee surgery. The main reason he ended his career was because he wanted to be a father and wanted to be at home, and even then he was teaching high school for three years. Infantry Officers Course in Quantico, Virginia.
“(It was) probably my proudest time in the Marine Corps.”
Unfortunately, the problem arose after switching from the service. Despite the fact that he was a leader, a teacher and flourished throughout his military career, he could not get a job. Management asked about his college degrees and when he explained why he didn’t have a degree, they wouldn’t hire him.
“I was telling them that I was in the Marine Corps for nine years and I went on tour four times. And they’d be like, ‘Well, thank you for your service,'” Fry recalled. “It was like people were patting themselves on the back, you know, saying, ‘Oh, I thanked that guy for his service, but at the same time you were telling me I couldn’t do it.’ So really, really insulting.”
Rock bottom: Alcohol, dissociation, and identity loss
Losing confidence and those around him not understanding his struggle, Fry found solace in drinking. She is divorced, not very active in her child’s life, and by her own admission, heavy drinking.
“Bad combo to the back.”
Fry eventually found work working with gas lines and plumbing, but he admitted that the timeline at that point in his life was a blur due to heavy drinking. There was one day that he remembered very clearly, which could be called his turning point. On a cold February morning in Pennsylvania while pumping sewage, he had an epiphany.
“It was just in my head like, ‘Man, you’ve done a lot in your life, you’ve got a bunch of talent, and you’re smart, you’re smart, you’ve been through a lot. It’s not what you’re meant for.”
Fry later spoke to a fellow Marine, another Marine, and told him the same thing he had told himself. While at Quantico, he studied barbering and decided to pursue a career cutting people’s hair.
“I went to this guy’s barbershop that I knew and I got my tools and every day after work I would go there and sit there with my tool bag and say to him, ‘Dude, I can cut hair, let me try.’
Jerick Frye took a chance and changed everything
Fry finally got his chance and made the most of it. He even helped a barber to improve his shop. He said the skills he learned from being a plumber served him well during that time. In addition to finding a job he liked, he mostly talked to clients who were veterans and first responders. While he improved the appearance of the top of their heads, he found that it also helped how he felt on the inside.
“It made me love opening up, and honestly, I was healing myself by trying to help others.”
One of his clients was a jiu-jitsu instructor who tried to encourage Fry to come to one of his classes. He didn’t like the idea of spinning on the boards at first, but eventually he agreed to give it a try. When he did, he was impressed by the ability of blue belt (now black belt) and Air Force Sergeant Nate Hand, who described Fry as a “little 150-pound guy.”
“The dude had me on my back,” Frye said. “I was 220 (pounds) and I was powerlifting at the time, very strong, and he had me on my back. I couldn’t move.”
Fry sat in his car and asked what happened that day. Many others in his position would probably not go back because they never want to experience it again. Fry’s marine mentality took over, and he decided he didn’t want anyone to do it again. So he obliged, and soon he found a new passion.
“I went twice a week and then three times a week and then it became an obsession where I went up to 10 times a week for four years.”
Now, Frye is a black belt himself, and the changes he’s experienced since that first class have gone far beyond the physical. He is in a better place mentally, has a new wife, a new faith, and is proud to say that he is a better father. The momentum just flowed from there.
“I started taking care of my house, I like to start earning more and it was like a crazy slide of events. Within a year I started my own hair salon.”
From Barbershop to Brotherhood: Rebuilding a Mission
Fry recalled what it felt like to be alone and unable to work productively after his military career ended. After discovering jiu-jitsu and experiencing all the ways it affected his life, he decided to share it with others. He wanted a solution to the problem.
“So as soon as I realized that, I said, ‘I have to show the veterans Jiu-Jitsu.’ That’s how it started.”
The simplest way Fry found to raise awareness was to hold an event in the parking lot of his barber shop. Along with matches and music, he also held a raffle where people who paid to enter could win prizes like guns and beer. He managed to raise $2,500 and decided to complete it the following year. Every year he held his event, it grew significantly. After they eventually outgrew the parking lot, Fry realized he had something special, which led him to found the Brotherhood of Bushido Veterans, a nonprofit organization dedicated to combating veteran isolation and improving mental health through fitness and community.
“The only thing that’s required of you is that you have to have an honorable discharge and have some initiative. All you have to do is reach out, contact us, and find a gym.”
Frye revealed that he shares his phone number with any veteran he supports, and they don’t have to do jiu-jitsu. They can practice any fitness discipline they choose, even yoga or CrossFit.
“I even joke and say I do competitive dancing, I haven’t asked anyone yet.”
Fry’s efforts have benefited many veterans, extending to their families, friends and communities. While he feels good about the difference he’s made since starting the nonprofit, he admits he may have benefited just as much, if not more, from the veterans he helps.
“What the Bushido Veteran Brotherhood did for me was allow me to serve again.”
For more information about VBB or to provide support, go to their website.
