Years ago I completely forgot it was Mother’s Day. But since I call my mother regularly, I happened to call her that day.
We talked for about 20 minutes, and as I was about to hang up, my mom said, “Aren’t you going to wish me a happy Mother’s Day?” Like a deer caught in the headlights, I was completely caught off guard and replied, “Mom, I’m so sorry! I can’t believe I forgot.”
Now some mothers were insulted, hurt or angry. My mother? Here’s what she said: “You don’t have to be sorry! Your call is even better. You called me because you just wanted to talk to me, not because it was an obligatory holiday call.”
I will never forget it. It was an important lesson.
What happens in life is more important than the meaning we give to it – or “the story we tell ourselves”. And when it comes to my relationship with my mom, I can always count on her giving me the benefit of the doubt. Her lenses were pink. The feeling was mutual. My mom was the best.
Some mothers and older children are not so lucky. For various reasons, parental alienation is very common these days. And regardless of the reason for the breakup, holidays like Mother’s Day can be painful for both.
But as I sit here and think about my Mother’s Day lunch menu, I feel sad for all the moms out there who have been cut from the lives of their children and often grandchildren.
When loss occurs through the death of a loved one, friends and family come together, offering support and hugs. But when losses occur due to harmful and often destructive outbreaks, there is peace around it. sadness?
Sometimes people feel sad every year when a loved one dies. Therapists refer to this as the “Anniversary Blues”. People often say that even when they forgot about the anniversary, they felt down in the dumps for no reason. That’s how subtle reminders can be powerful.
There is nothing subtle about Mother’s Day reminders. Shops are overflowing with flowers and cards, there are endless commercials on TV, and happy family gatherings – for everyone. With grown children separated, Mother’s Day is an occasion many wish would pass without fanfare.
If you are a mom who is grieving because more than anything, you want to be a family again, this is the place for you. You may not have been the perfect mother; none of us. Go do something nice for yourself. Appreciate yourself tomorrow. Focus on what is good in your life. Surround yourself with people who love you. I bring you a glass half full. hello
