This is a guest post by Jesse Homan, Dialectical Behavior Therapy therapist and coach. He is passionate about people and how we all relate to each other, our communities and the planet.
A few months ago, I hosted (and attended) a fun retreat in rural Washington with other therapists. As a way of educating ourselves, we cooked together, created environmental art, sang songs, played games and participated in a guided tour. bathing in the forest session
The retreat was co-constructed by the participants, with each of us sharing an activity with the group. In return, I gave out Holga 120mm cameras so everyone could shoot film over the weekend. (For those unfamiliar with Holgas, they are extremely simple cameras – with a plastic body and lens, two “f-stops” and one shutter speed).
In gifting these cameras to everyone, I had one goal in mind – and it certainly wasn’t to take great photos. It was a struggle to learn how to use these cameras. Why am I deliberately proposing a project that is deliberately based on inevitable despair and hopelessness?
Well, my gift should be a meaningful reminder: just playing and having fun, even in the midst of frustration and disappointment, can be a journey worth taking. With commitment and consistent effort, I would assume that they can certainly learn how to use these cameras and develop skills.
Amidst the rapid spread of technology and the rise of AI This question seems to be taking on new importance: How can we create meaning, experience a deep sense of accomplishment, and enjoy the simplicity of joy in these complex modern times?
Although this is a rich and frequently discussed topic, Sebastian Junger tribe offers a clear answer to this question: too much comfort is the enemy of life, meaning and vitality. When I think about all the modern conveniences that many of us live with these days—on-demand streaming, GPS navigation, smart phones—I see the downside. As convenient as these devices are, they can actually hinder our ability to thrive and enjoy life. Ironically, these modern technologies can actually make us less intelligent, less competent, less confident, and increase our vulnerability.
For example, remember the days of renting DVD movies at a video store like Blockbuster? If you want to watch a movie at home, you have to go to a rental store and rent it. The process probably brought a series of minor frustrations and inconveniences: leaving home, navigating traffic, interacting with people at the store, waiting in line at the checkout counter, and sometimes adjusting plans if all the copies of the movie you wanted were out.
Guess what? Frustration and disappointment were part of the movie rental experience.
Of course, there are countless other examples, like getting lost on your way to a new restaurant or meeting place, waiting for your friend to get off work to return your call, trying to figure out how to fix something broken in your house without AI-fix, etc. As strange as it may sound, I now find myself rooting for those experiences. As a therapist, I believe that such juvenile frustrations are constructed and stability — and even a kind of complacency — at the core of American culture.
To continue this idea, recovery from disappointment is an important rite of passage that helps children prepare for future disappointments and teaches them how to manage less pleasant emotions. Then, if the child’s first movie isn’t available, they have to choose something else. If their parents wanted to order in, they had few choices: mostly pizza or Chinese takeout.
Nowadays, it’s a well-known fact that if you want to watch a movie at home, it can usually be delivered instantly on many platforms. If you want to order food, your choice is almost every available restaurant. The gig economy means that all kinds of businesses will bring what you want to your doorstep. Patience is not required and you can do anything with limited human interaction.
However, for all its comfort and convenience, technology has failed us on a basic human level. While you may get “x” faster, it creates expectations and speeds up life to the point where you actually experience it. emphasized and less happy.
In fact, according to a Stress in America inquirymore than 50% of US adults now report symptoms solitude. As Dr. Anna Lembke says about this NY Times interview“What we do is spend a lot of time masturbating, shopping and watching what other people do on the internet.” Is this really how we want to live our lives?
As a specialist in Dialectical Behavior Therapy, I understand that foundational skills are one way we can reduce our vulnerability to negative emotions. Building skills involves engaging in behaviors and actions over a period of time that can ultimately make us feel competent, confident, and effective. And that includes encountering obstacles, hiccups, and struggles along the way. What I encourage my clients to do at first is to try something difficult but doable – and then work to strengthen it over time. For example: try learning a language, or tackle a DIY home project, or practice an instrument, or plant a garden for the first time, or knit socks.
As far as the Holga camera goes, its imperfections and failures are a life lesson in patience, practice, and maybe one day mastery.
Of course, on our way back, we might have cut it all short and taken our photos sooner. We may have used automatic editing features or filters to get a quick and amazing final result. But then again, what did we really learn?
When you live in a post-AI world, you can choose to leave your skills and share them with an app-ready device. However, you are moving from manual skills to passive intake. And in that there is a deep loss – a loss of knowledge, creativitygrowth and stability. We may not realize how much we are missing until it is too late.
