We think of overthinking as an overactive mind full of worst-case scenarios. Sometimes it happens. But often too many thoughts wear a more friendly guise. Yes, overthinking presents itself as being careful, responsible, and trying to make the “right” decision.
Guess how many of these ideas sound familiar?
Read on and consider out loud how many of these thoughts sometimes overwhelm you and influence you and cause you to miss valuable opportunities.
“What if I fail?”
– I am not ready.
– What if people judge me?
“I have to be 100 percent sure.”
“What if I let them down?”
“What if I regret it?”
“What if there’s a better option?”
“Should I think about it a little more?”
So before you say, “Dr. Jeff is implying that we should always go into life with our first instincts and be sensitive,” please do me a favor. Don’t listen to my message telling you to recklessly fly into life by the seat of your pants. No, I am not saying that any of the above thoughts are “bad”. All of them have value in the right context. The problem comes when they become default cognitive pathways rather than random visitors to your mind.
A false security trap
Many people unconsciously believe that if they think hard enough, prepare hard enough, or analyze hard enough, they can overcome uncertainty. But we all know that life is not guaranteed. No amount of thinking can guarantee a perfect, universally valid or error-free result decision making. In fact, based on 35 years as a psychologist, I have seen through the eyes of my clients that seeking reassurance leads to delayed decisions, missed opportunities, and prolonged delays in moving forward.
The cost of overthinking
Go back to the list of thoughts I provided and remember this: Every recurring thought has hidden value. We are talking about the emotional/behavioral consequences of your confusing thoughts. “What if I fail?” may discourage you from trying. – What if people judge me? it keeps you quiet. And “What if I let anyone down?” can endear you to people. Over time, these thoughts – if you let them – steal your life.
The good news is that one of the strategies I discuss in my book is Free your child from overthinkingwhich applies to all ages is to learn to think rather than automatically obey them. So instead of arguing with weight, negativity, anxiety-full of ideas, try to show it. You might say, “What if I fail?” he thought.” Or: “Here’s my thought, ‘I have to be 100 percent sure.'” This creates an incredible distance between you and such thoughts. Most importantly, you stop treating every thought as a command and see it as a mental activity that may or may not be worthy of your authenticity. attention.
The Take Away
The goal is not to eliminate troubling thoughts. This is to quickly recognize them. Because when you overthink an idea, it loosens its grip.
