Greetings from Okinawa, Japan. I currently teach science in a study abroad course happiness. Every year I take a group of students to a place where the culture supports a happy, healthy and long life. This week we learned about ikigai.
Loosely translated, ikigai means “the reason for rising in the morning”. These are the parts of your life that give you a sense of meaning and purpose. In recent years, this concept has become extremely popular in the West. All books, seminars and your trainer programs promise to help people discover their ikigai and unlock a more powerful life.
And to be fair, they’re onto something. Research consistently shows that people with a strong sense of purpose tend to experience greater well-being. stabilityand life satisfaction.
But knowing what’s most important to you is only half the formula for a powerful life. You should also be able to follow this understanding.
When clarity is not an issue
My client, Sarah, deeply believed that she had something creative to contribute to the world. In particular, he wanted to write a novel. In fact, she wanted to write a book since she was a child.
It’s not that Sarah didn’t have her ikigai. He knew exactly what was important to him.
But he did not write. He came to work with me after years of him “spinning his wheels”. Every week she found reasons to procrastinate on her book: a busy work week, too many social plans, and feeling tired.
When he finally sat down to write, he was plagued by thoughts that his work was not good enough. So she closes her laptop and promises herself she’ll try again tomorrow.
Values tell you where to go; Your characteristics determine how easily you get there
One of the first things I do when helping people make meaningful changes is to clarify their values, e.g. therapy version of finding your soul mate. Your values are the qualities you want to bring to different areas of your life. I ask my clients the following questions:
- What kind of friend do I want to be?
- What does work mean?
- How do I want to appear as a parent or partner?
Values act like a compass. They point us in the direction we want to travel. But the compass is not what the vehicle is for getting there.
This is where you personality Personality traits describe our typical patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving. Certain traits make tracking easier goalswhile others may create friction.
For example, like Sarah, someone who has value creativity need to be more conscious to constantly show their skills.
Someone seeking intimacy may need to be more confident or willing to open up.
Someone who has value leadership and mentoring in the workplace can benefit their development demanding.
The real purpose of personality change
Importantly, there are no general ideal personality traits. Instead, when defining personal development goals, we want to think about what qualities you want to make your life easier to understand.
When we think personality change similarly, we focus on correcting deficiencies and creating harmony with our ikigai.
I love the concept of ikigai because it makes people think deeply about the meaning of life. Once you know what’s important, the next challenge is to become someone who can consistently move toward it.
