First, some facts: one in 10 Americans are interracial or interracial marriage. Using the US Census Bureau classification, interracial marriage was defined as between five racial groups: American Indian or Alaska Native, Asian (eg, Chinese, Japanese, Filipino, Korean, Asian Indian), Black or African American (eg, Jamaican, Haitian, Nigerian), Hawaiian or other Pacific Islander, German Islander, Egyptian, Italian, white. Interracial marriage was also defined (using Census Bureau terms) among Hispanics/Latinos and non-Hispanic/Latinos.
In our new book, Interracial Marriage: How Diverse Couples Manage Relationships While Sharing Time Victoria Stubbs, Michael Woolley, and I describe race as a social construct that is ever-changing at a time in our history when race is political and brought into the homes of many Americans as a topic of debate. Our couple was surveyed and interviewed during a time of unrest marked by the Black Lives Matter Movement. COVID-19 and anti-Asian sentiment, the debate over open borders.
Many Americans have or will soon have such marriages in their families; one in six newlyweds will marry someone of a different race or ethnicity. The number of people who identify as multiracial or biracial is also clearly increasing, and more mixed-race/mixed-ethnicity children will be the product of these marriages. Asian Americans and Latinos (the data we use) are more likely to marry.
It works
In our interviews and surveys with nearly 600 people in mixed marriages, the majority rate their marriage as satisfactory. Many feel accepted by friends and both families and report that when they go out into the community, they can easily navigate social situations without fear. Couples feel that they have learned a lot about themselves and other cultural experiences, and in some cases believe that they are at the forefront of creating a more diverse and loving world for themselves and their children.
The problem
However, struggles have arisen among some couples, whether they have children or not, that relationships require more work than same-race or same-ethnic couples.
- Agreeing on where to live: People often feel most comfortable in the neighborhood of people who are similar to them or have basic characteristics in common. Finding mixed neighborhoods where one race or ethnicity didn’t feel out of place was a priority and required a lot of discussion.
- Handling of high-restraint events: The murder of George Floyd and others has forced many couples to talk about appearance. sexand safety. For example, a white woman married to a black man became aware for the first time of the dangers her husband and children faced. Such events, as well as the comments of politicians, are sometimes processed differently by partners, given their own history. discrimination and racial injury.
- Public speaking: We often hear that when the relationship flourished in their homes, but when in some cases, the couple was on guard. Avoided travel to specific cities or states; eye contact was common in restaurants or on public transport; sending the spouse to the store to return the item was weighed by how the reception would be. Additionally, couples who believed they looked mixed when out in public (about a third responded that they didn’t think they always did) struggled more on many items measuring comfort.
- Preserving gender and privilege: The interaction of race and gender and the composition of the couple is important. Historically, black-white marriage has attracted more attentionespecially among black men and white women. For some non-White couples, marrying a White person, however unfortunate it may seem, was often seen as a transfer of privilege. This requires couples to talk and understand how this affects the dynamics of their marriage.
- Raising children: Half of those with children believed their children were very comfortable with their race/ethnicity personality. When and how to talk about race with children has been a big question, because children often don’t look like either parent; moreover, the siblings do not resemble each other. Children can change themselves racial identity with their age, as well as the groups they want to associate with. Parents are not recognized as the child’s parents when they go out in public and are sometimes seen as nannies or tutors.
All these problems, and these are only a few, require constant conversations between the couple, which we have won in the time of great separation in understanding and loving each other. We can learn from them how to listen and understand how to be open to each other and acknowledge their different experiences. As we approach the Day of Love on June 12, let’s all celebrate together how far our country has come and realize that there is still a long way to go.
