My 92-year-old friend, Ann Wennhold, recently told me that she has taken a “mini vacation” from the aging process. Why in the world would a 92-year-old take a break from aging?
Well, Ann is not a “normal” old lady. After retirement, she led multi-day retreats for the elderly for many years, but in her late 80s decided the travel involved was too much. These days, his work is mostly done via Zoom. He periodically offers an online class on the “tasks of aging” of a person in their late 80s and 90s.
I once asked him if I could join, but he said I was too young. “You’ve changed a lot in your 80s — physically, mentally and spiritually,” he said, “and young people don’t realize it yet.”
An avid writer herself, Anne has several memoir writing groups she has facilitated over the years; he also coaches writers in one-on-one sessions. Before the pandemic, he regularly led a drum club, went to parties and classical music concerts with old friends, and periodically traveled west of the Hudson River Valley to visit his beloved couple. Ann is an independent, childless senior who is aging independently.
About five years ago, one by one, Anne’s closest friends joined in retirement distant communities are located near their grown-up children. With each move, Anna’s world got smaller. It didn’t help when her landlord of 15 years sold her duplex. It took months to find a new place he could afford, eventually necessitating a move several miles away from the hometown he loved. The move was confusing at first, but eventually Ann discovered new places to shop and dine. However, she misses her old friends.
Despite everything going on in her life, Anne is acutely aware that her social world is crumbling. “It’s hard to make new friends at my age,” he said recently. However, he has befriended a woman two decades his junior who lives downstairs. She recently signed up for a watercolor class at a local senior center.
Instead of forcing herself to work even harder, Ann chose to take a two-day vacation at home. She gave herself a break, just for a little while. Sleep was important in Anne’s plan. When he wanted, he would drag, he would eat anything that sounded good at the moment, and he didn’t wear clothes.
During COVIDshe and I started a tradition of swapping Netflix movie and series recommendations, then discussing them. Love is blind and Married at first sight caught us both, mainly to find out who made quality matches and about the poor choices of others.
While on mini-vacation, Anne tuned in Love is blind but they did not watch. “The drowning voices in the background were people I didn’t have to pay for attention to,” she said, “like a company I don’t worry about. I could just close my eyes and sleep and not miss a thing, but I didn’t feel alone. ”
However, when Netflix itself Love Is Blind: Germany, Ann was excited. He watched the entire season. He found the contestants more interesting than the US version, especially a guy who knew he didn’t want to have kids but wanted to find love. She followed his quest and completed it. That’s all he did in two days.
As we talked about his ordeal a few days ago, I could hear the immense pleasure in his voice. He was satisfied and rested better than he had in weeks. I’ve found that planning a mini-vacation for yourself can help ease the challenges of aging and provide a new perspective on daily routines. It must be really good for your outlook and your health.
