Although conversations are a normal and common part of our social life, we are often surprised worrying around them. People tend to believe that others love them less than they do and that they have talked more than they would like to. However, conversations are such an integral part of how we get to know, interact with, and connect with others that we want to make sure those conversations are done right. After all, an awkward or awkward conversation can make it very difficult for people to connect.
A new study focuses on a specific concern people have around conversations: the idea that some topics are too boring for a good conversation. The paper by Elizabeth Trinh of the University of Michigan and colleagues investigated whether people misjudge conversations about seemingly boring topics. In nine experiments with nearly 2,000 participants, researchers show that people consistently rate how interesting and engaging these conversations will be. For example, participants who predicted that a conversation about history would be boring found the conversation more interesting than expected when they actually engaged in it. This was true for conversations with friends as well as with strangers.
The authors explain this inconsistency by emphasizing that conversations consist of more than just the topic itself. The pleasure that people derive from conversation is more about engagement, which they describe as a dynamic process that occurs only during conversation (eg, listening, responding, gesturing). Because engagement is difficult to predict, people tend to avoid discussing boring topics. An experiment with 300 participants in Singapore directly tested this logic. Participants either (1) had a live conversation, (2) read a transcript, or (3) watched a recording of the same conversation. In this setting, only live chats require active participation, which is interesting and enjoyable. The researchers found that the gap between expected and actual enjoyment was mostly found in live conversations, rather than in passive settings such as reading or watching. This shows that it is not the topic itself that is enjoyed, but the interactive and interesting part of the actual conversation. Thus, people do not fully anticipate how interesting the conversation with the other person will be after doing so.
Many conversations in our daily lives revolve around predictable and superficial topics. We discuss the lunch proposal with a co-worker, the weather with an acquaintance we’ve met, or the commute with a neighbor. On the one hand, we can consider them as boring topics that should be avoided. On the other hand, it is the conversations that connect us with that person in that moment. If we shy away from seemingly boring topics, we can lose the fun connection.
