You wake up tired. You look at the clock and realize that the meeting you were supposed to have started 15 minutes ago. immediately shame You can imagine what your colleagues will think when you are late again and have missed something important.
For many people living with narcolepsy, this is not an occasional inconvenience. This is everyday life.
Narcolepsy is a chronic neurological disorder which disrupts the regulation of sleep and wakefulness of the brain. While popular culture often portrays narcolepsy as someone who suddenly falls asleep mid-sentence, the reality is often much more nuanced and largely misunderstood. People with narcolepsy may experience intense daytime sleepiness, fragmented sleep at night, sleep paralysis, hallucinations, cognitive fog, and in some cases cataplexy, a sudden loss of muscle tone. feelings.
But one of the most painful psychological aspects of narcolepsy isn’t the symptoms themselves. Here’s what these signs can mean about a person’s character.
I saw this through my friend Meredith, who lives with narcolepsy and now works for a biotech company in the sleep medicine space. Before getting a diagnosis, she spent years blaming herself for symptoms she couldn’t control.
“For years, I blamed myself, they said I was lazy and I struggled with laziness self-esteem“, she told me.
We live in a culture that often encourages burnout. Chronic fatigue, low energy, lateness, forgetfulness, or difficulty waking up are often interpreted as evidence of laziness, irresponsibility, or lack of discipline rather than potential symptoms of illness. Over time, these assumptions can become internalized.
Invisible conditions are particularly vulnerable to this dynamic. When the symptoms aren’t obvious, people often feel pressured to constantly prove that their fight is legitimate. The result can be a deep sense of shame.
Meredith described the elaborate systems she spent years trying to compensate for her symptoms: multiple alarms around the room, to sleep at a friend’s house before important, permanent commitments anxiety about sleeping too much or seeming unreliable. Even socially, she worried about how others would perceive her if she was sleepy or withdrawn.
“There are still moments when I feel inadequate,” he said.
As a fellow neuropsychologist, his experience also made me think about how little attention Sleep disorders are sometimes caused by sleeping pills themselves. Sleep affects almost every area we assess clinically: attention, memory, executive activityprocessing speed and emotional regulation. However, during many of my trainings, narcolepsy rarely came up in conversation.
Part of the problem is that many people’s understanding of narcolepsy comes from exaggerated portrayals in television and film. Meredith explained that one of the stereotypes that frustrates her the most is the portrayal of cataplexy as a dramatic fall.
“Hollywood tends to over-dramatize people who experience cataplexy,” she said. “People think that narcolepsy is a condition where someone suddenly passes out and falls asleep, which is actually what most people experience.”
For Meredith, finally getting a diagnosis brought something unexpected: relief. “Being diagnosed was the beginning of my journey with compassion,” she said.
This line stayed with me long after our conversation ended.
Sometimes a diagnosis works better than an explanation of symptoms. Sometimes it reorganizes a person’s understanding of himself. Experiences that once felt like personal failures take on meaning through an entirely different lens. Shame softens to understanding.
This change was especially evident in Meredith’s way of thinking labor productivity and rest.
He told me: “I used to consider my need for extra rest as a weakness. “In a world where rebellious culture is glorified, I fear my condition will hold me back.”
Looking back, she realized that constantly fighting her body often made things worse.
“I was robbing the rest I needed to feel productive,” she said. “Ironically, that behavior was what was holding me back.”
Her insight speaks to a broader cultural issue that goes far beyond narcolepsy. We often equate energy with value. The ability to consistently produce, achieve, stay focused, and push through is often seen as a sign of virtue. Meanwhile, rest is considered “rewarded” or weak if it is not “earned.”
But the body is not always to match to cultural expectations. And when that’s not possible, people often blame themselves before they think that something deeper might be going on.
Today, Meredith speaks openly about narcolepsy and works to raise awareness about the sleep disorder stigma cut back. She hopes to bring more awareness to earlier diagnoses and a better understanding of what it’s like to live with narcolepsy.
But more than anything, our conversation reminded me that invisible symptoms are easily moralized not only by society, but also by the people who experience them.
Sometimes the most powerful thing a diagnosis can offer isn’t just a cure. Sometimes it’s permission to stop fighting yourself.
i deep grateful to Meredith for sharing her experience with this post so openly. Meredith Fox is involved Dream project and is an advocate for greater awareness and understanding of narcolepsy. You can find him in it LinkedIn. I talked to Meredith more about narcolepsy. personalitybrand and empathy in a lengthy interview posted on my Substack. You can read the entire conversation Here.
