How to create relaxation
In these difficult times, the lucky ones have an unexpected opportunity to turn their attention inward and listen silently to the inner calls of life. For those who seek greater understanding, it is customary to regularly avoid outside activities and mental distractions.
Maybe it’s a short daily meditation, a long silent retreat, a related reading, or a vision quest. It is in moments like these that we can listen carefully and be guided by the natural rhythms and wisdom of life. It is in this way that wise teachers and religious men chose themselves with sacred harmony and deeper knowledge. It is in this inner silence that truth and wholeness are finally revealed to the serious seeker.
Staying in one place and slowing down “things” is a constant demand for retreat. Although traditionally motivated by a personal desire for meaning and substance, today we are given a compelling mandate by the virus. We are there and we will be there in the future. So why not take advantage of this opportunity?
To help you make the most of this time, I want to share with you three types of retreats: outer, inner, and inner. I hope this information inspires you to create a home retreat where you are now. You can start after reading these few words.
External return
External retreat occurs when we create external conditions that promote inner and inner retreat. As a result of the current restrictions that now shape everyday life, creating an outdoor retreat is a little easier. We are already removed from routine activities and distractions of everyday life. So we start by resisting the habit of filling the newly found “free time” with more “meaning” and resume our normal busyness. This is a familiar pattern that is deeply embedded in our psyche. Be aware of this mental habit when it occurs. Watch it and let it go. Now there are deeper and more important dreams and opportunities to address.
Next, bring harmony to your outer life as much as possible. Your living space should invite your soul and spirit, be welcoming, soft and facilitate inner time. Meals can be prepared in peace and solitude. Harmony can prevail in relationships. Consider creating a “sacred space” in your home for meditation and introspection. Some keep a small table in a spare room where important photos, candles or objects of a spiritual nature can be placed. This can bring a special sense of calm and inspiration.
Think of the energy, sweetness and peace of nature, a religious space or a meditation room. Cultivating this essence is how we create an outer edge that facilitates the harmony of body, mind and spirit.
Internal return
Inner retreat is the formal time we use for our daily meditation practice, as well as the informal time we spend in a meditative space during daily activities. The goal of an inner retreat is to rest in the stillness of the mind, not the usual mental explanation. Our official meetings, especially on such occasions, begin with compassion and concern for those who are suffering in difficult circumstances. As an option, I offer the Bodhisattva Prayer, written by Shantideva in the 900s. I am providing a link below. However, you can develop a compassionate relationship in whatever way works best for you.
The next step in an inner retreat is to quiet the mind. We’ll start with relaxation techniques, using what you already know works for you. I have attached a 10-session audio recording below that may help you. The first 3 sessions focus on techniques to calm the mind.
The important thing is not how you quiet the mind, but that you quiet it and then rest in the stillness that underlies the mental conversation. Arguments will inevitably arise, but that doesn’t mean you can’t stay calm amid the background noise. You can. Ignore the appeal of your normal mind. Allow the mental activity to come and go on its own. Allow the usual psychological interpretation to play itself out. But you, you, remember who you are. He who is aware, observes, is calm and fully aware. You are not your thoughts, beliefs and mental explanation.
What is the purpose of internal feedback? The goal is to clear our mind of painful/anxious emotions, experience the peace and tranquility of a calm mind, the ability to remain emotionally stable in difficult situations, and create an open space for new understandings of self, reality, and life directions to arise naturally and spontaneously. As we continue this daily inner retreat, we will learn its value and realize that even in the midst of outer turmoil there can be inner stability and strength. The essence of an inner retreat is that we retreat into a calm, clear, alert and peaceful mind.
Inner retreat
The final stage of the retreat is the inner retreat. I’m sorry this is the hardest thing to put into words, because to know it, you have to experience it first hand. Just as you cannot know the true taste of a mango by listening to its description, you cannot know the true nature of inner experience without tasting it from the center of your being. However, I will do my best to point you in that direction.
There is experience, inner experience, and the broadest ground of our being, which we may call soul, essence, natural self, true self, void awareness, or any of the many names that refer to it. It embraces and evokes all levels of experience. It can be said that it is the ground of our being, the place of being, existence, existence or pure presence. It is alone. When great teachers are asked what it is, they mysteriously answer, “It is.” It’s not so much an answer as there is none. You’ll know when you feel it.
However, the good news is that we have always felt our inner self. Whenever we experience the loss of our sense of self and its pursuits, we experience life at that moment as an easy flow. We experience the expansion and pervasiveness of peace and joy. We can find time to “lose” our normal selves in dance, music, art, meditation, yoga, exercise, nature, intimacy, and more. These moments are usually considered amazing experiences. They come and go with a smile. In contrast, what we seek on retreat is an intentional and increasingly sustained encounter with our inner self.
There is no special effort or practice you can use to access this inner presence. The best thing you can do is remove the obstacles, feel the longing and desire to return to your inner home and allow grace. So you don’t “do” an inner retreat, you allow and let it happen. Your efforts at inner development increase the likelihood of tapping into this natural self. And let us remember that we are not guests in this innermost place. This is who we are. Resting in the ground of our being is an inner retreat.
So we begin the retreat with intention and commitment based on the understanding that external experiences, as well as mental experiences, are transitory. We realize the weariness of a life spent searching for ourselves in a debilitating experience. We increasingly believe that the only stable experience is our own unchanging nature, our true nature.
We cultivate a harmonious outdoor environment that supports retreat. This is followed by calming the mind through the practice of meditation and resting in peace and quiet. This inner retreat can at any moment spontaneously open up into an inner retreat that reveals the fundamental nature of our essence and ourselves – the truth of our existence. Otherwise, we feel blessed and enriched by what we have learned and experienced.
Some final words – start simple, be patient, don’t get attached to expectations, and appreciate the here and now practice of meditation and retreat. And add a dash of discipline.
I hope this brief description of the three aspects of the retreat will enable you to use this time wisely. You may find precious gold, which is often available in times of great difficulty.
To learn more about Dr. Dacher and his work, visit: http://www.elliottdacher.org
